You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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