you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
