I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
