"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
