Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
No subtext here. People are naked.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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