he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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