Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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