Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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