Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
