Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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