If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
