The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
