I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
