It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
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I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
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When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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