I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
