Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
