Screwed.edu
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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