I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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