just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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