do herpes really smell.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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