oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
