Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you win again, gameday.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
