I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
