The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
