I think my vagina is haunted
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize