we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Randomize
