i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
