I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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