I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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