The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
