I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
