And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
