Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
