is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
