well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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