I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
