I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
