By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
