i dont even know how to be here
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
