question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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