Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Randomize
