A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
