You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Green mimosas i think yes
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
