Taylor Swift is so right about you.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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