I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
