Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
