So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
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