If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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