Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize