Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
