3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
