his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
