i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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