I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
