My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
