i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize