She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
