Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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