I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
