I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
