i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
