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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs

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