She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize