Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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