so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
