So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
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Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.