This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.