Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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