i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
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the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
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I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How does one acquire holy water?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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